We arrived in Texas on Sunday to be with Jim's parents for the next six weeks. The day before we left my parents was hard, I was excited to come south but the packing of our life for the third time in the last handful of months made me feel just a little bit sorry-for-myself and I found myself wanting to stamp my foot and whine a bit. This mama wants a nest!
But then, we arrived here and unpacked, leaving me with a feeling of deep gratitude. We have wonderful places to be and generous family on all sides of us, allowing us to search for jobs without the stress of multiple bills.
This see-saw of emotions is very representative of the past couple months. I have a deep longing for permanence and a place to make a home for my four boys. At the worst of moments I really do want to stamp my foot. But then, I'm given glimpses of the larger picture and moments of deep gratitude for where we are and what we have been given sweep over me, leaving me in awe and slightly ashamed of my impatience.
We pray, we hope, we work toward what we can and then I'm learning (not with out some tears and frustration) to let go and rest in the fact that there is a plan for us... we just need to wait and faithfully take one step at a time.
My parents arrived home from a couple weeks away with bags and bags of apples from the finger lakes in New York (all my parent's apple were frozen after a false spring earlier this year) and there were three apple peelers (this one is awesome!) and lots of little fingers to 'help' and to try each apple. Jars of applesauce now line mom's pantry, it is moments like these that it is easy to be grateful...